Heroes

For those of you who may not know, Baltimore's very own golden boy -Michael Phelps- is, once again making headlines. Not for all of his Olympic accomplishments though. No, this time, Mikey is in the news because he was at a party and someone took a picture of him smoking weed out of a bong. I didn't like the guy before all of this came to the surface so this recent news has only added fuel to my fire and for some reason, I just can't let this go. This is why I'm so angry: alot of people have come to his defense and said "He's not doing anything I didn't do when I was 23" blah blah blah. Here's the difference though. This guy has been labeled as a hero. There was an entire friggin parade in his honor. The reason? Because he knows how to swim really, really well. Sure he broke a bunch of records and won a bunch of medals but come on! He's been training for this his entire life so I don't think we should expect anything less from him. So getting in the water and swimming really fast makes someone a hero. Ok fine, I'll play along. Everyone else seems to think of him this way, especially young kids all over the country. Kids have been idolizing athletes since the Grecian Olympics, I'm sure so why is this guy different? Because for all of those kids who are looking up to him, he pretty much put swimming on the map. I mean seriously, name 5 famous swimmers. Can't be done. So Michael Phelps comes along and shows these kids what can happen if you work hard. And THAT'S why I can't stand him. Because all of those kids were watching as he accepted those medals, they watched when he took part in a parade in his honor, they may have even stayed up late to watch him on Saturday Night Live. So you can be sure they're seeing this now. Kids who probably have no idea what a bong is now know thanks to their "hero".

So all of this got me thinking about the word "hero". I was thinking of all the people in this country who are labeled heroes. Firefighters, soldiers, teachers, Olympians, etc. Then I started to think about how these people actually earned the title. Firefighters - they put their lives on the line every day in an effort to save other people's lives. Yea, I'd say that's a hero. But can you really make such a vast generalization about an entire group of people? My dad is a veteran and he fought in the Vietnam War. Does that automatically make him a hero? Some might say yes knowing only this one fact about him. My siblings and I would disagree. See, our dad, the guy we know - not the veteran - was abusive, manipulative, controlling and just an all around bad guy. BUT, he fought in Vietnam so he's still a hero right? He went into Vietnam with a basket full of issues and he came back even more messed up. He was even there when they sprayed Agent Orange so he brought me the lovely parting gift of a birth defect that is still effecting me to this day, 29 years later. Sorry, but he's far from my hero.

We have entire award ceremonies dedicated to actors, musicians and athletes. People who make their living entertaining us and as a nice little perk, happen to make millions of dollars doing it. You'd think that'd be enough of an award but no, they need a statue and the adoration of their peers to boot.

I think we're honoring, acknowledging and idolizing the wrong people. My good friends Matt and Katy spend their life dedicated to helping others. When Hurricane Katrina hit, Matt was there. When their son Caleb died, Katy was the one showing others by her example the message of forgiveness and healing. THEY'RE heroes. They deserve a friggin medal.

My sister-in-law Raimie stayed home while my brother went to serve in Iraq. She not only had to deal with supporting their daughter but also handle a pregnancy on her own. Not to mention give birth to their son with her husband thousands of miles away. She never complained, never asked for help. She just did what she had to do. She's a hero. Yes, my brother fought in the war and yes, he is a hero too but she didn't ask for this. She didn't sign him up to be in the military, but she did her job all the same.

I was talking about this with my brother, Don, today. He made a very good point about Michael Phelps. He said "Sure, the kid can swim, but when my troop and I came home from Iraq, where was our parade?". I remember the day he came home, very well actually. We all went out to dinner and I made a point of letting the waitress know that the dinner was in honor of my brother who had just come home from serving a year in Iraq. So they gave him a free piece of cake. I mean it was nice but seriously? That's what people get on their birthdays at these places. But it showed me just how grateful we are as a society for our true heroes. Don fought in a war, faced and witnessed death on a daily basis, missed the birth of his only son, comes home a year later and gets a piece of cake. Michael Phelps trains hard, goes to Beijing, swims alot, comes home and gets a parade, TV interviews, etc.

So the next time you label someone as a hero, just think about it first. Ask yourself who they really are a hero to. It's a term that is tossed around and shouldn't be taken lightly because we're now at a point that it's been taken for granted.

Things that I'm excited about

So it's a new year and that brings with it all sorts of new possibilities. Being a mom is, by far, the best thing I've ever done but I have a confession to make. Growing up, I've always worked with and taken care of children. I've always babysat, during my days in church I was always working in the Junior Church, I used to work at an autism center.. it's just something I've always loved doing. However, during my years in child care, I had VERY limited experience in caring for newborns. I was always watching kids who were at least a year and a half old. When Jonas was a newborn, I was terrified. I spent every second of every day doubting myself and wondering when this was going to start to feel like it's something I can do. Well, now is that time. He's a toddler now and this age is what I know. Granted, I had no idea what to expect in raising my OWN toddler but that's another blog entirely. He is 22 months old today and this age is so much fun! We can do so many things with him that we couldn't do when he was a baby. Pretty much every holiday is exciting now. I'm actually looking forward to Valentine's Day (a holiday that I normally loathe) this year because I can do all sorts of fun things with my little guy. This year he'll get his first Easter basket. It seemed a little silly to get him an easter basket last year because he couldn't eat the candy and he had no idea what the point was. Which is not to say that this year he'll get it but I think this year he'll be alot more excited, at least for the candy anyway. It's an age full of possibilities and I'm re-learning everything through his eyes. Pretty much everything we do with him is fun because he's just so un-tarnished (did I just make up a word?). He isn't jaded yet, he's still able to enjoy the simple pleasures of life. The excitement of finding a leaf in the grass or checking out the clouds is not lost on him and I love that about him. I can't help but think about the fact that a day will come when he won't enjoy these things anymore but for now, I'm savoring these little moments. We're taking him to the Aquarium on Sunday to see the dolphin show and I think I'm more excited than he is. The definition of fun has changed for me. I've never wanted to be one of those women who lost my identity when I had a family but I can sincerely say that when he's having fun, that's the best kind of fun for me. When he's discovering something new and genuinely enjoying himself, there is no greater joy for me. I think mainly, this is so exciting for me because I missed out on so much of this stuff in my own childhood. We didn't really get birthday parties growing up, I don't have fond memories of Christmas or most holidays for that matter. There was always so much strife and tension and anger in my family, those are the things I remember - all the hurt. The bad far outweighs the good unfortunately. I haven't had a chance to do anything about it though until now. I have a chance to give my little boy the awesome memories that I always wish I had. Now I can have them with him and that means more to me than anything else. I want him to grow up and know without a doubt that to Topher and I, every day with him is special. I want him to understand why we celebrate certain days and why certain things are important. I want him to have a very solid sense of joy in his life. It's almost like I'm re-living my childhood through him. I can do for him what my parents never did for me and that (almost) takes all the pain away. The moment I laid eyes on this little person, I knew right then that he deserved the best in life and we're working on giving him just that. We can't give him all the most expensive toys or vacations but we certainly can give him the things that matter in life.

So if you're reading this, take a moment to kiss your kids on the head and remember all of the things in life that you want for them. It's never too late.

New Year, new resolve

So I've gotten back on track with my weight loss goals. I lost my way towards the end of 2008 and I honestly think it was good for me. For a few months there, I wasn't tracking my points or getting any exercise at all. I signed back up with Weight Watchers this past Saturday and I weighed in and it was then that I realized that in the 5 months that I had been off the wagon, I had only gained 5 pounds. It might seem ridiculous to be excited about gaining weight but it meant something to me that it was only 5 pounds. It meant that in the time that I was doing Weight Watchers, I really learned something and truly did change my lifestyle. When I "went off the deep end" and stopped tracking points, I didn't really go all that crazy. I still kept things in moderation. I probably ate more chocolate than I would've had I been tracking points and I'm sure my portion sizes were bigger but still, I only gained 5 pounds!! I remember about 6 years ago when I went on Atkins. I was on it for about 6 weeks and I think I lost about 20 pounds. When I stopped doing it, I gained all the weight back plus about 15 extra pounds. I didn't retain anything from my experience with Atkins for one simple reason: DIETS DON'T WORK. Which is what is so brilliant about Weight Watchers, it isn't a diet. It's a lifestyle change. And I realize now that I truly have changed my lifestyle. To be able to fall off the wagon for 5 months and only gain 5 pounds, that really means something.

Topher got me a Wii Fit for Christmas and I swear it's the best Christmas gift I've ever gotten. I've never had so much fun with exercising. It makes that 30 m inutes of activity a day goal very attainable. I've also gotten really good at planning menues for the entire week and sticking to making dinner every night. It's become part of my routine. On Saturdays I plan the menu for the coming week, make a grocery list based on that and then go grocery shopping. With the exception of just a few nights, I made dinner every single night last month. That's amazing for me. I'm also realizing how much I'm enjoying cooking. After spending the whole day with Jonas, it's kind of a nice break to escape to the kitchen and just kind of unwind. It sounds silly but I can kind of zone out when I'm cooking and nothing gives me a greater sense of accomplishment than cooking a meal and watching my family eat and enjoy it. It must be a woman thing but the nurturing side of me thrives big time when I make dinner for my guys. I've also recently discovered the joys of the slow cooker. I was a late bloomer on this one but I'm glad I caught up. I've made 5 different recipes so far. Right now my success rate is 3 for 5. Not too bad. Tonight we had chicken stew which was delicious and pretty low in points.

I'm pretty excited about getting back on track and I'm more motivated than ever. My weight loss journey is taking longer than I thought it would but you know what? I weigh alot less now than I would've had I never started Weight Watchers in May of 2007. I'm going to try to keep up with the blogging and my weight loss efforts. I don't have any losses or gains to report this week because I just started back up but I'm hoping for a good week! I'm going to stay focused and keep my goal in my head. Wish me luck!