Things that I'm excited about

So it's a new year and that brings with it all sorts of new possibilities. Being a mom is, by far, the best thing I've ever done but I have a confession to make. Growing up, I've always worked with and taken care of children. I've always babysat, during my days in church I was always working in the Junior Church, I used to work at an autism center.. it's just something I've always loved doing. However, during my years in child care, I had VERY limited experience in caring for newborns. I was always watching kids who were at least a year and a half old. When Jonas was a newborn, I was terrified. I spent every second of every day doubting myself and wondering when this was going to start to feel like it's something I can do. Well, now is that time. He's a toddler now and this age is what I know. Granted, I had no idea what to expect in raising my OWN toddler but that's another blog entirely. He is 22 months old today and this age is so much fun! We can do so many things with him that we couldn't do when he was a baby. Pretty much every holiday is exciting now. I'm actually looking forward to Valentine's Day (a holiday that I normally loathe) this year because I can do all sorts of fun things with my little guy. This year he'll get his first Easter basket. It seemed a little silly to get him an easter basket last year because he couldn't eat the candy and he had no idea what the point was. Which is not to say that this year he'll get it but I think this year he'll be alot more excited, at least for the candy anyway. It's an age full of possibilities and I'm re-learning everything through his eyes. Pretty much everything we do with him is fun because he's just so un-tarnished (did I just make up a word?). He isn't jaded yet, he's still able to enjoy the simple pleasures of life. The excitement of finding a leaf in the grass or checking out the clouds is not lost on him and I love that about him. I can't help but think about the fact that a day will come when he won't enjoy these things anymore but for now, I'm savoring these little moments. We're taking him to the Aquarium on Sunday to see the dolphin show and I think I'm more excited than he is. The definition of fun has changed for me. I've never wanted to be one of those women who lost my identity when I had a family but I can sincerely say that when he's having fun, that's the best kind of fun for me. When he's discovering something new and genuinely enjoying himself, there is no greater joy for me. I think mainly, this is so exciting for me because I missed out on so much of this stuff in my own childhood. We didn't really get birthday parties growing up, I don't have fond memories of Christmas or most holidays for that matter. There was always so much strife and tension and anger in my family, those are the things I remember - all the hurt. The bad far outweighs the good unfortunately. I haven't had a chance to do anything about it though until now. I have a chance to give my little boy the awesome memories that I always wish I had. Now I can have them with him and that means more to me than anything else. I want him to grow up and know without a doubt that to Topher and I, every day with him is special. I want him to understand why we celebrate certain days and why certain things are important. I want him to have a very solid sense of joy in his life. It's almost like I'm re-living my childhood through him. I can do for him what my parents never did for me and that (almost) takes all the pain away. The moment I laid eyes on this little person, I knew right then that he deserved the best in life and we're working on giving him just that. We can't give him all the most expensive toys or vacations but we certainly can give him the things that matter in life.

So if you're reading this, take a moment to kiss your kids on the head and remember all of the things in life that you want for them. It's never too late.

New Year, new resolve

So I've gotten back on track with my weight loss goals. I lost my way towards the end of 2008 and I honestly think it was good for me. For a few months there, I wasn't tracking my points or getting any exercise at all. I signed back up with Weight Watchers this past Saturday and I weighed in and it was then that I realized that in the 5 months that I had been off the wagon, I had only gained 5 pounds. It might seem ridiculous to be excited about gaining weight but it meant something to me that it was only 5 pounds. It meant that in the time that I was doing Weight Watchers, I really learned something and truly did change my lifestyle. When I "went off the deep end" and stopped tracking points, I didn't really go all that crazy. I still kept things in moderation. I probably ate more chocolate than I would've had I been tracking points and I'm sure my portion sizes were bigger but still, I only gained 5 pounds!! I remember about 6 years ago when I went on Atkins. I was on it for about 6 weeks and I think I lost about 20 pounds. When I stopped doing it, I gained all the weight back plus about 15 extra pounds. I didn't retain anything from my experience with Atkins for one simple reason: DIETS DON'T WORK. Which is what is so brilliant about Weight Watchers, it isn't a diet. It's a lifestyle change. And I realize now that I truly have changed my lifestyle. To be able to fall off the wagon for 5 months and only gain 5 pounds, that really means something.

Topher got me a Wii Fit for Christmas and I swear it's the best Christmas gift I've ever gotten. I've never had so much fun with exercising. It makes that 30 m inutes of activity a day goal very attainable. I've also gotten really good at planning menues for the entire week and sticking to making dinner every night. It's become part of my routine. On Saturdays I plan the menu for the coming week, make a grocery list based on that and then go grocery shopping. With the exception of just a few nights, I made dinner every single night last month. That's amazing for me. I'm also realizing how much I'm enjoying cooking. After spending the whole day with Jonas, it's kind of a nice break to escape to the kitchen and just kind of unwind. It sounds silly but I can kind of zone out when I'm cooking and nothing gives me a greater sense of accomplishment than cooking a meal and watching my family eat and enjoy it. It must be a woman thing but the nurturing side of me thrives big time when I make dinner for my guys. I've also recently discovered the joys of the slow cooker. I was a late bloomer on this one but I'm glad I caught up. I've made 5 different recipes so far. Right now my success rate is 3 for 5. Not too bad. Tonight we had chicken stew which was delicious and pretty low in points.

I'm pretty excited about getting back on track and I'm more motivated than ever. My weight loss journey is taking longer than I thought it would but you know what? I weigh alot less now than I would've had I never started Weight Watchers in May of 2007. I'm going to try to keep up with the blogging and my weight loss efforts. I don't have any losses or gains to report this week because I just started back up but I'm hoping for a good week! I'm going to stay focused and keep my goal in my head. Wish me luck!